I remember the first article I ever wrote for the OPA Newsletter. It wasn’t even a magazine back in 2008. The article was on relationship astrology and called, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
I talked about how a common question brought to astrologers is the decision to stay in a relationship and work through issues, or to end things and move on.
This can be assessed astrologically, although there are multiple factors to consider from a planetary point of view, plus the perspective of karma and free will dancing together. You get to make choices in relationship but there can be a strong karmic pull.
This is due to the magic ingredient, Soul connection. Sometimes this mystical connection brings us together, acting like a glue when temporary personality challenges would suggest that we cut and run. And sometimes it is absolutely Crazy Glue, and we can’t make ourselves leave when all signs point clearly to the door.
The natal chart gives us an amazing lens into our psychological wiring, showing us the kind of home life we had—and prefer. It describes how we approach romance, the deeper commitments of partnership, and the unfolding of trust and intimate bond. We see here how we want to be nurtured and cared for, and how we naturally express nurturing for others, including our children. The chart shows the kind of boss we are likely to have, and how we lead if we move into a powerful role.
We often want to look at the chart of the “other” person to figure out how we’ll get along or what’s “wrong” with them.
Yet the best lens is looking at ourselves — our needs, challenges and gifts, and especially the transits we’re going through. Some superficial astrology will predict relationship endings with particular transits to the Marriage & Partnership House (7th). This misses the point that a transit is a period of time where we are invited to experience a particular kind of inner shift in an area of life. The other person, the format of the relationship, is the vehicle for OUR transformation.
So the question isn’t “Should I stay or should I go?” First, it’s “Will I change or will I not?!”
Let’s look at some key planetary transits to the relationship area:
Mars — Generally staying in the relationship space for about two months, the question is if someone is asserting themselves and being selfish in the relationship, and are you willing to stand up for yourself and not smoulder in resentments and passive aggressive behaviors.
Jupiter — For a year or so it’s time to expand your sense of what you would like to experience in partnership, and go for more. This is not a time to settle. Even if you think your relationship is great, there might be some healthy expansive changes you could initiate.
Saturn — For about two to three years you look at key committed relationships (romantic, friends or business partners) and assess should you let go of the relationship or work hard on it. Is it worth working on? Can you be mature and realistic in this connection?
Uranus — Astrological mythology says you might receive a sudden shock or ending of a relationship when this powerhouse lightning bolt hits the cusp (edge) of the 7th house of partners. The truth is (and Uranus is big on truth), you need more freedom in your relationship, and so does your partner or partners. You need to be more authentic and liberated and break out of old patterns. You’ll have seven years to figure this out, but the first year or two will be the most awe inspiring.
Neptune — Neptune, the Pisces planet, floats in within a veil of fog. Everything feels slippery and unclear. You might wonder if the relationship is dissolving. You might feel huge soul level love, at the same time as depletion and confusion. What you need is a deeper energetic and spiritual connection. You want to feel your beloveds finishing your sentences, knowing you at a soul level. Uplevel your spiritual practice, ideally together.
Pluto — We fear death and destruction where Pluto steamrolls into position. It will be in the partnership area for many years to come. The first year or two lays out the curriculum. Relationships need to transform and deepen. The way you show up in the world through the lens of your Ascendant sign, will also change. You will excavate into the unconscious patterns, shadow work taking you to an intense ability for intimacy. You can do this willingly or consciously… or not. You will transform and you most often will be grateful for the soul centered powers and potentials unveiled.
At this time of massive upheaval in our lives, I sometimes wonder the relevance of basic astrology. But then I think, we need our relationships to be as healthy as possible right now. We need each other more than ever. We need to live in the moment, as beautifully and healthily as we are able. It helps to have good solid friendships and partners in life.
As we understand our relationship potential, and heal our relationships, we are able to be part of world healing, one step at a time.
In the month of August, 2022, Leo time — romance and friends — Kay is offering a special relationship reading. And, if you have an interest and basic knowledge of astrology, definitely check out The Astrology of Love & Relationships, a 28-week Certification Course starting on October 5th.